BE THERE!!! =P

 I came across a group called "Celtic Woman" and they have such a beautiful sound! This song is quickly becoming one of my favorites. It's called "The Voice" and I think the lyrics have a very Pagan/Wiccan feel to them. So I thought I would post them. =D The music video is on my site if you wanna check it out. =P

 "The Voice"

I hear your voice on the wind
And I hear you call out my name

"Listen, my child," you say to me
"I am the voice of your history
Be not afraid, come follow me
Answer my call, and I'll set you free"

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice, I will remain

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep thoughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow

I am the voice of the past that will always be
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields
I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace
Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice

I am the voice of the past that will always be
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future
I am the voice, I am the voice
I am the voice, I am the voice

I get frustrated with myself sometimes.

I almost have to be "in the mood" to meditate. I will try to sit infront of my altar and pray or meditate and my mind just won't slow down to do what I need to do to relax. I think that is one reason why I have never really done any spellwork. I can't seem to concentrate enough on the task at hand to really send my energies out.

During the day while Joshua is gone I have all the time in the world to commit a few moments to my faith and spirituality but I can't even seem to do that. I decorated my altar with baby things since Joshua and I are trying for our first child, but I am afraid that it won't do any good. I wonder if just the act of placing the items on the altar is enough? That is probably debateable.

I just wish I knew of a way to truly slow down mentally, at least enough to concentrate, at least for a few minutes on the magick I am trying to do. I was thinking about getting a CD of nature sounds, especially the rainforest. When I was young I used to put those CD's on and meditate. It was so relaxing. Then again that was when life was simple and I lived life pretty much carefree. Nowadays when Im an adult and have very adult things to worry about all the time...its just a little harder to let it all go.

But I do think that I should get those nature CD's. At least it would be a step in the right direction.

It makes me feel stupid, though, because I read my Pagan forums and everyone talks about doing spells and rituals and I just get so jealous. I want to be able to do that, but I need to work on my mindset. There is no use doing a ritual if I can't even focus on the REASON for the ritual.

I wish there were forests around where I live. I can't wait to go to Bragg. I am tired of looking at desert all the time. I want lush green forests and trees! I miss my trees so much. I looked up pictures of Bragg and it looks so beautiful. I can't wait to walk through the forests there. By the time I get there I will hopefully be pregnant, so hopefully I will be able to take a small hike through some trails nearby. And the OCEAN! I have always felt a strong energy from the ocean. I am too much of a wuss to swim in the water anymore, but just standing on the beach feeling the salty wind in my face...it filled me with such euphoria. I almost felt like something out in the middle of the sea was calling to me. I can't wait to go experience that feeling again. I know Joshua will enjoy it too. The beach is only 2 hours away from Bragg, so I know we will be making many trips out there! Hopefully we will be able to find a place that is not all covered in hotels or condos.

Anyway, that is my blog post for now. =D Wish me luck in my mindset endevour.

The Goddess - Clearing your life of crap!!!

My hubby and I went to the local 99 cent store today and found THESE!!! They're PLUNGERS! I couldn't believe my eyes! I just had to get two of them. Lol. And I plan on getting one for my best friend (who is also Pagan) back home in Illinois. Aren't they great?!

There is this person I talk to online because she has a boyfriend/fiance in the military so we can relate well in that aspect. But sometimes I really don't how I handle her sometimes.

 You see, she is Christian...like REALLY Christian. Like Bible-thumper Christian. And it's not like I have a problem talking to people of other religions...but I get really sick of her talking about her religion. It comes up EVERY conversation. It seems like the word "God" is in every other sentence for her. I don't talk about my religion to her. I mean I just think that she probably wouldn't want to hear about it. But I am constantly sitting here listening to her talk about God this and God that. Sometimes she goes as far as to make me feel like less of a person because I am not a bible-thumper.

 One time we were talking about our relationships and I was just telling her something about how neither me or my husband were virgins when we got married and did something else that was special for us to share on our wedding night. Well she went on saying how she and her fiance were both virgins and were doing it "God's way"...and Im like what? Im some sort of whore because I didnt wait? UGH!

And sometimes it really makes me not want to talk to her. But I dont want to be like "Hey, you talk too Christian for me so I don't want to talk to you anymore..." That just sounds mean. But maybe I should just start talking about Paganism more to her. Saying stuff like "Yeah the spell I did last night worked really well" or "The Goddess has really blessed my life" and yadda yadda. I mean it doesnt sound bad to ME or to many of the people who read this...but I know that it would probably make her uncomfortable. So why does she think its ok to make me sit through her preaching???

Grrr....I know lots of other Pagan probably go through this too. Sheesh...

 Anyway, sorry about the rant, it has just been bugging me ever since I started talking to this girl.